U OK Un?

Kim Jong Un

From Kardashian to Jong Un, there’s been a spate of eyebrow disappearance from celebrity Kims. Sarah Morgan asks, is this a trend?

Call it a slow news day, but did we all bark with laughter at the new pics of Glorious Leader Kim Jong Un, doing his best “no, they’ve always looked like this, what do you mean?” expression with a couple of oxford commas cowering in the middle of his giant face? Honestly, I think it humanizes him a bit. I did something similar when I was thirteen and distracted by a Roseanne marathon, and got in an ‘are they even?’ loop. If only his mum had taken him to Superdrug for new sunglasses.

 

I think this is my second favourite thing the Seth-Rogan baiting despot has done since eating so much cheese his ankles broke under his own weight. Allegedly.

 

But if you’d like the look (hey, there’s someone for everyone) with less commitment, you could make like Kim Kardashian on the cover of Love magazine and bleach out your eyebrows. According to her twitter feed, (“About last night… #KendallsBDayParty #DontBeScaredOfMyBleachedBrows #ItsForAPhotoShoot.”) Stephen Meisel convinced her to peroxide out her brows for a new look, and you have to admit, she looks properly, er, unKardashian.

 

Eyebrows do a LOT of heavy lifting, face-wise. Elizabeth Taylor’s arrived five minutes before the rest of her, and we’ve all got that Nan who plucked hers to nothing, which looked sleek when she drew them on every day but now make her look like a startled Matt Lucas.

 

I’ve got a soft spot for a certain kind of hard-as-nails lady, (Tina from Coronation St (RIP); Cher Lloyd; the teenage girls at my bus stop who throw chips and scare me) who favour an eyebrow that looks like it’s been daubed on with two strokes of a brown slant-nib marker pen, slish slash. A lipglossed snarl in the face of the natural look, it reminds me of Divine as Dawn Davenport in Female Trouble, terrifying and confrontational.

 

Speaking of Divine, no one knows how to handle brows better than a drag queen (okay maybe a clown. But no one wants make-up tips from them). As always, youtube drag tutorials are your friend if you want to experiment with changing the shape of your face, the colour of your brows or just extend your eye-make up to your hairline because why the hell not? Drag tutorials, not just for men.

 

Anyway, if you’ve ever over-twozed (yes, I’m sure that’s the correct term) a la Kim Jong Un, or you’re just follically unblessed (like my good self – without Tom Ford Eyebrow Crayon my eyebrows resemble a couple of sparce spiv moustaches from the war), you can always go the tattoo route. Browhaus do a naturalistic “Brow Restoration” semi-permanent tattoo service. It’s pricey but the results are stunning.

 

*Please, North Korea, don’t hack the shit out of this site – Sali x

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