Hogan Loves: Clinique For Men Sonic System Cleansing Brush

Writer Michael Hogan is feeling supersonic, give him gin and tonic…

If only my forefathers could see me now. I come from a long line of Irish navvies, squaddies, farm-hands and gas-fitters. I’ve already betrayed my roots by earning a living tapping on a keyboard with un-calloused hands, sending the resultant flowery words down a pipe to fellow fops. Now here I am, “exfoliating” with an electric scrubbing brush and black charcoal. God help us if there’s a war.

On the recommendation of some know-all called “Sali” (sic), I bought my lady a Clarisonic last Christmas. She swears by it. But enough about her potty mouth on proximity to beauty gadgets – she also loves the deep, pore shrinking cleansing it provides.

Now comes a male version: the Clinique For Men Sonic System (at £79, cheaper than a Clarisonic and out in just time for Father’s Day). You can tell it’s for, grrr, ruddy bloody blokes because it’s slate grey and power tool-looking, like something you’d find in Halfords rather than Space NK. Jeremy Clarkson could get away with using it. Although looking at his drooping chops and skin like melted cheese, I fear it might be too late for Jezza.

It resembles an electric toothbrush for silverback gorillas. The recharging dock connects via USB, so you can use plug it into your iPhone charger or laptop. The idea is to use the Sonic in conjunction with Clinique’s new Charcoal Face Wash (£18), “fuelled by the purifying powers of bamboo charcoal”. Hey, if it’s good enough for the pandas, it’s good enough for me.

You dampen the tilted oval brush head, squeeze on a coin-sized splat of face wash (it’s pitch black for extra manliness), then press start. You’re supposed to use it for 30 seconds and the Sonic handily switches off when time’s up. Maybe I’ve got a freakishly large face, but I found myself flipping it back on for another 10 seconds to get right into the corners of my massive moon-like fizzog.

There are two tiers of bristles: softer ones for the cheeks, then a top deck of firmer bristles, so you can tilt the brush to deep-clean oilier areas. It’s supposed to leave your skin several times cleaner than manual methods, allowing a closer, less razor-burny shave – but I’m bearded at the moment so couldn’t test this claim. The charcoal scrub leaves a grey foam on your face, which is satisfying to sluice off. Rinse the brush too or it’ll be stiff the next time you use it.

I’ve rarely felt so alive. OK, I exaggerate but I’ve rarely felt so exfoliated. I got a bit of a spot breakout a week in, but that soon cleared up. I now have the deep-down cleanest-feeling face since my mum attacked me with a soapy flannel before we went down to the main road and waved at the Queen’s motorcade as it passed through my hometown during Silver Jubilee year.

My face is as soft as a baby’s freshly-talced bottom. It’s as squeaky-clean as a Disney princess in a carwash. Darling, you could eat your dinner off my T-zone. Although you’d probably get some funny looks from fellow diners.

So I’d recommend the Clinique Sonic – partly just because it forces you to cleanse. Many men, like me, tend to fall into bed tired/tipsy, giving their face a cursory splash or forgetting altogether. This gadget’s novelty factor, pleasing nature and, yep, its price is more likely to ensure you cleanse properly. Your face will thank you for it, even if your ancestors are spinning in their graves.

Clinique For Men Sonic System Cleansing Brush, £79

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